Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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