You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
