My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
