that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize