So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize