Non-Jews are for practice
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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