What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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