No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
whose ass print is on the piano?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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