All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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