I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize