Nicole vs. Life
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
