Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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