tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize