well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
false alarm, still single
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