Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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