I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
