The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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