THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you had me at cake vodka
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
