i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
