paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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