you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
