Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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