I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
please come you make the beer taste better
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
