she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
