Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize