and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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