he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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