you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
