I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I currently don't understand fingers.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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