i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
