that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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