he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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