you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
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I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
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He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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