i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
