he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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