i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
