they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
