dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just google imaged poop.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
