ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
