2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
