My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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