check it out our google latitudes are spooning
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
