I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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