you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
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We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
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I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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