If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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