but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
