and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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