I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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