the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
