I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
