Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
