I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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