One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
