So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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