Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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