I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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