I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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