i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
