nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
