there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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