pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it's like heaven, but drunker
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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