You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
