dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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