i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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