gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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