I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize